if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
