Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
