best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
