Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
even my farts smell like vagina
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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