Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
