you guys were way drunker than both of me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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