My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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