im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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