i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize