whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
