so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
