You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
