question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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