Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
