just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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