woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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