well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
