I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize