I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They took my balls.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
