Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
