I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
