she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
