Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
