Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
