i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Two words: blizzard sex
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
