tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
