What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
