i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Found your dick twin last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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