i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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