you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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