it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
