i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize