Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
