I cockslap morals
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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