Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
