I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
