Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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