I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
