Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
