Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
