She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
