everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
