This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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