Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize