I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All the doctor said was why
My feet surprised me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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