you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We had to coat check the pizza.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
