It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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