is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
babies were throwing up all over the place
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
