I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
