guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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