Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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