i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
