I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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