he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
