Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
