he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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