We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
