You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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