The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
