Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
