i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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