I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
