Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
