i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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