am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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