Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
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It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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