My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
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I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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