i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
