She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
