Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
