Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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