im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
