I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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